a little bit of light.

when God closes a door.

i didn't get into the program ): i'm feeling pretty bummed out. i wanted it so bad and was so hopeful that i might get it. i know this isn't the end. that it's all for the best. that God has a better plan. maybe He doesn't want me to be bonded to *** for a certain reason. it opens up more opportunities, really. maybe it's full time ministry, maybe it's something else. i don't know. it isn't so bad 'coz i know i can still teach in spite of this. i can still work with kids, with youths - which is what i really want to do.

God knows best. His ways are higher than mine, His wisdom all knowing. but i can't help feeling really upset.

He'll open another. a window at least.

):

i'll get over it. i'm good at that. getting over things. that's everything that happens. i just get over things. that's what i do. whatever life throws at me i just get over them. bitterness - i do feel a little bit of that. i don't want it to creep back into my life again. i've dealt with it before and i hate it. this is when i need to start reading my journal entries to remember how God has been so good to me and this is no reason for me to start being upset again. it shouldn't. we're myopic. i'm myopic to His plans. and i want to see past this. over and beyond. to see with new eyes.

(: joy unspeakable

so so so many thanksgivings! (:

all glory to God for the term papers and exams!
4 down, just 1 more to go
and amanda's finally coming to church on sunday!

thank You, Jesus (:


Joy unspeakable that wont go away,
And just enough strength to live for today,
So I never have to worry what tomorrow will bring
Coz my faith is on solid rock,
[big or small faith - it's still on Christ's solid rock!]
I am counting on God! (:

I am counting on, I am counting on God
I am counting on, I am counting on God
I am counting on, I am counting on God
I am counting on, I am counting on God

In the miracle of christ in me,
Is the mystery that sets me free,
Im nothing like i use to be,
Just open up your eyes,
You'll see In the miracle of christ in me,
Is the mystery that sets me free,
Im nothing like i use to be,
Just open up your eyes,
You'll see


i never should've doubted (:

day 11 out of 15

oh exams exams

when will thou disappear from thy life

5 days. 

sorely missing everyone. exams turns you into a hermit and a dependent.

Father, i'm counting on You so much. i know i can't do it without You. please help me to have greater faith in You when i fail to see, to have the quiet and steady confidence in You. when i tire, i know You're there to give me strength to keep going, to last til midnight and wake up again - to beautiful skies that have kept me company through the days. even when i feel discouraged and absolutely frustrated, i know You have never left me and will never leave me because You love me and Your grace is all sufficient - even when i don't deserve it. for this last lap and all those before - i want to do it for You. Lord, Your mercies never fail. please remind me when i forget, k? Daddy, You're so good to me (: help me to live that out (:

love,

min

doldrums

it's getting really hard to concentrate. ohmy. arghhhh. CONTINUE!!!!

because He knows

for those mugging for exams (:

"God remembers us wherever we are. Our concerns are His concerns. Our pain is His pain. Commit your challenges and difficulties to Him. He is the all-seeing God who remembers us as a mother remembers her children, and He waits to meet our needs" - C.P. Hia/ Our Daily Bread

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." - john 14:27 

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." - james 1:5

press on! (: you're good and almost there. 

easter

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

- John 15:13

it's a little hard to get what happened today out of my mind

a reply to tags!

- apologies for the late reply though -

Hey harong and sukiduck! (who're you? haha)

thanks so much for your tags, they offered me perspective of the other side of the coin. appreciate it man (: funny thing is that my friends who wanted to borrow all my notes told me they didn't need them anymore... so... hahaha, it's all good.

debs!

thanks so much for that affirmation and i totally agree with you that we should work hard for God and God alone (: indeed, i know how now to better deal with such incidents in the future (: 

leann & genia

yea, if leann doesnt stop snorting, she should be considered as grub-ish. ha

question: am i being very selfish if i don't lend people my notes?

 so far, 5 people have approached me to photocopy notes, out of which, 2 wants to zap my entire, full set of notes for a particular module. and i question their motives because they're hardly seen in class. i hesitate to help because they aren't bothering to put in effort to even help themselves in the first place. should i help freeloaders? if not, how do i reject them? then again, everyone attends the same lectures and share universal notes. so, why not share? but if i do, i'm only encouraging and perpetuating this habit of theirs. i can totally understand if you've missed a couple of classes for legitimate reasons or if you really do need help in understanding a certain topic  or just for reference. i'm sure most people would be cool with this. but this is really too much. every lecture is worth 6 full pages of notes. and how many lectures have we had this semester? 12-13 weeks of class. this isn't an issue of me being protective of my notes because everyone listens to the same lecturer, take down the same notes, at least in gist. maybe i'm slightly irked 'coz i would have to take all my notes out again and then re-file them later. but i'm most bothered because they didn't bother to put in their own effort. if all of us took the extra effort to pay attention and take notes, so should they. i'm not someone to be exploited! ALL my notes?! i don't see why you're deserving of help! so hard to be gracious. but i said yes. am i being foolish? i feel like i am. but i don't want them to see me as a selfish kiasu self-absorbed person either. a christian who acts like that. you tell me, how?

good morning world! (:

the air smells crisper and the skies look brighter clearer today (: 'coz of yesterday's storm, i reckon. but maybe it's because the assignment season's almost over. 3 essays, 1 interview, 1 midterm down, 1 more essay and choral stuff to finish before the quiet solitude of prepping for exams - which i am really looking forward to! it'll be that much closer to the finishing line and then summer break and all the exciting things that come with it.

honestly, this sem's been pretty tough. it's only been slightly more than 3 months into the year and so much has happened and so much to do, but it's all good, it's all good. crappy sometimes, but there's nowhere else but up to go if you're down in the pits. i suddenly feel like little miss sunshine. haha. 

be faithful 

because I am faithful to you

the days

i've attended 2 most wonderful girls' 21st birthday parties and they were each so meaningful in their own way. you know how you're supposed to go to party and bless them for having been in your life for some years now, right? why do i always feel like i, the party go-er, am the one who's blessed?! :s hrms..

anw, we saw luanie off at the airport yesterday and i'm really going to miss her so much. i thought i'd cry, but i didn't. and that's because i know i'll see her again! there's skype, facebook, msn yada yada...

luanie, if you're reading this, i'm not going to tell you that i miss you 'coz i'm sure you already know that. the big smile and 1438336 facial expressions in 1 min. haha! i'm really looking forward to hear about your updates (: and i hope you're well! hugs!

a step at a time

I often feel like I’m two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I’m stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

’cause maybe there’s another plan
One I still can’t see
A little surprise, like Your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

- everything in its time/ corrinne may

coz christmas songs make me happy (:

here's my favourite version of white christmas by bing crosby!

nightmare

cringe.

i've been cringing all day because i keep thinking about all the embarrassing things that i've done in the past. i can't get rid of them.

cringe. cringe. cringe.

and i made another mistake today.

cringe.

why do i always say stupid things that put me in awkward situations. why am i always so downcast? i am so sick of it. am i hard on myself? i don't know, you tell me. are you judging me? i'm judging myself.

have i been selfish? thinking a lot more about myself then others? yes, i have. but i cannot help it.

i cannot sleep. so many flashbacks of stupidity.

i cannot sleep. fear is keeping me awake.

i cannot sleep. i feel like i'm going to screw up again.

the essays. the assessments. the interview.

no time. no time.

i want to escape.

i want to leave.

i just want out. 

but i know i cannot and i shouldnt.

because that would be irresponsible

the damage would be irreconcilable

cringe.

ARGH.

but tmr will better. it will be.

night sky

Plug in Your Emotional Battery

by Rick Warren

"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest'" (Mark 6:31 NIV).

Are you overwhelmed? Do you feel inadequate? Are you ready to blow at any moment? You can't love others in a godly way when you're at the end of your emotional rope. How many relationships have been ripped apart because the people involved failed to take care of themselves emotionally?

***

God's Word gives us three habits that can help us recharge emotionally when we have nothing left to give.

1. Solitude. Mark 6:31 says, "So many people were coming and going...[Jesus] said to them [the disciples], 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest'" (NIV). Jesus understood that your emotions are like a battery. If you plug one lightbulb into a battery, it will last for a fairly long time. If you plug in 100 lights, the battery will drain very quickly. Many of you have so many lights plugged in, your battery is shot. You can't recharge anybody else—you can't give love—if your own battery is drained. You recharge when you get away by yourself.

2. Play. The Bible says, "Jesus came enjoying life" (Matthew 11:19 PH). He was the most people-focused, ministry-intensive person who ever lived, yet he took the time to have fun. Certain activities recharge you emotionally; they literally re-create your energy and enthusiasm for life. We all have different activities that recharge us because we're all made differently. Find out what recharges you emotionally and make time for it.

3. Laughter. Proverbs 17:22 says, "Being cheerful keeps you healthy" (GNT). Studies prove that when you laugh, it increases your number of T-cells, which raises your immunity level. Laughter is good for your health. Humor is God's gift to us. Remember, God has a sense of humor—he made you! (i burst out laughing at this line... am i pretty ugly or ugly pretty? lol.)

To be emotionally balanced, take God very seriously but don't take yourself seriously. Learn to laugh at your limitations. There is plenty of material. If you only laugh and enjoy life when your problems are all solved, you'll never enjoy life.

taken from:

purpose driven connection

so so so so timely! it's the crazy season for all in uni - rushing assignments and projects, all the staying up to finish work as soon as possible, somewhat depriving ourselves of play... cutting back on time spent outside unless absolutely necessary.  it's so easy to get caught up with work and end up being so serious and not have any fun. oh the chionging... there needs to be time set aside for some fun and chillax-ing, if not we'd all drop like flieesss. aye?

solitude

play

laughter

(: aye

 

i just keep doing stupid things. why.

my body clock is so out of whack.

yu.

ahhhhh... absolutely in love with their dresses! (:

click here to check out their website!

youuuu (:

hello hello!

i've noticed an increase in traffic flow on my blog for some time now and i'd like to put a face and a name to who you are (: pray tag on the tagboard on the right, or comment if you like! 

thanks so much! it's definitely nice to know who my readers are (: and not just a faceless body.. haha.