ntu interview

THE DAUNTING NTU INTERVIEW.


on the 9th of april, NTU's School of Humanities and Social Sciences (HSS) called to inform me that I was short-listed for an interview with the prof and i have sit for a writing test the very next day! OHMYGOODNESS! and i felt euphoric for the entire day! hahaha. i didn't think i would get shortlisted. seriously. but i was feeling very nervy about the writing test. *gulps* i'm afterall, not a very confident writer and the fact that i haven't touched lit in 2 years scares me. yikes.

i was absolutely petrified, not to mention how freaked out and nervous i was. but i'm really thankful for pearls, corinne and of course my family, who encouraged, gave advice and cheered me on. what would i do without you guys man?! =) thank God man!!!

alright, the interview first. it went okay. had a rather interesting talk with Prof Kenneth. (find out more about him here) he's a nice person. he told me not to be nervous and i got to sit on his sofa. muahahahahaha. comfy! *grin* he asked me quite a number of questions and i did my best to answer. but looking back now, i felt that i could've answered better.. oops. but what's done cannot be undone la. oh well. let's hope for the best. and the prof was so nice, he told me to keep my fingers crossed! lol.

he's actually teaching film studies at hss, but he also teaches stuff like cultural lit etc. so it was rather interesting listening to him talk. and he also writes books as a side line! how cool is that?! i'm going to write a book too. haha. like that's ever possible! he's currently working on a book about chinese hollywood actors. (think zhang ziyi, gong li etc.) very very interesting. had quite a refreshing talk with him actually, hardly come across people like him, so topics that were discussed were also rather thought-provoking. like what the values literature is to the contemporary world. and THAT was my topic for the writing test.

my writing test was actually before the interview. when i first saw the questions, all i remembered doing and thinking was : DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!! i honestly, had no idea how to answer the questions la. my mouth went dry and i even contemplated telling the secretary that i came for the wrong interview! =x i was really traumatized okay. i really DIDN'T expect those questions. i thought it would be something more general. then again, how general can it get? haha. but really thank God that He gave me the words and i managed to complete the essay albeit it being short. everyone else in the room wrote like 2 to 3 pages and i only managed to cover 1.5 pages. eeks. BUT BUT BUT. prof said that he loved what i've written, interesting perspectives. haha YAY!!! triple hurray! that kinda got my hopes up a bit. haha.

but come what may eh? let's hope they accept me. but if they dont.. well, i'm going to trust God that He has better plans for me.

this concludes my very fruitful interview with prof kenneth, but very traumatic writing test. however, it wasn't all that daunting.. good experience =)

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most people will be very surprised that i chose to study literature at uni level. but, it was actually a mistake. maybe a blessing in disguise, if you may. i put ENGLISH as my first choice for NTU. but, the english they were refering to was ENGLISH LITERATURE. i can see people fainting now. how could i have messed up my uni choices?!!!! my parents were very concerned. in all honesty, what i did, is a little hard for me to swallow. then again, what have i got to lose? if i knew it was eng lit, i wouldnt have applied to ntu at all. but i did, and i got shortlisted. isn't that something worth celebrating? besides, the interview and the writing test, i felt, went quite alright.

i really don't mind studying literature at uni level. when i read the description of the electives and all the modules their English course i offered, i was immensely interested and wanted to do it. i was thinking how come they have so much to do with literature? i thought this was english. but oh well, the subjects seem fun and very interesting. they have film and theatre studies for goodness sake!!!! i'm going to put it down as my choices. so technically, i chose to study that because i was interested. and i don't regret it. i'm pretty sure i wana do it. in fact, before i realized it was eng lit, i told myself that this is my first choice above all the others; above smu's social sciences course; above nus's fass. their electives were so different from nus'. in my opinion, i think it's better.

the prof was concerned that i didn't take lit at A levels and he asked me if i can handle all the rigour of writing and reading; to the point where you get so sick of writing you never want to WRITE ever again. i said i can handle it, i'm willing to do it and i expected all these to come my way and i told him that these are challenges i'm willing to take on.

just the other day, i came across an online literature study guide website. i looked through it and realized how much i actually missed literature, all the chararcter analysis, poetry, all the novel reading, the highlighting etc.. it was the only subject i truly enjoyed studying. i loved writing the essays. clay marble, merchant of venice, 12th night, animal farm, king of the castle.. the only subject which teaches you about life, giving you different perspectives of issues, of people.. letting you have a greater understanding of things. which other subject does that?

i really regret not studying lit at A levels. the subjects i chose to study at A levels were done out of pragmatism, well, except geog. i'm given this opportunity now and i don't want to make the same mistake.

i've always wanted to be a teacher and often wondered what i wana teach. english has already become a permanent resident. sure, i want to teach english or maybe GP someday. but then i thought about lit. i realized that, above all, i wanted to teach lit.. my memories brought me back to my sec school days. lit was always my fav lesson.. a subject that i never found a chore to study. and i want my students to feel that way too.. to be truly interested and to enjoy studying a subject. that's not too much to ask right?

a trip down memory lane.. it's overwhelming.

Maundy thursday

went for Maundy Thursday service today. Pastor Bernard asked us if we actually knew what maundy thursday meant. and well.. to be honest, I DIDN'T KNOW! *gasp* to think ishould know that after 5 years being in the faith. i'm so blur. tsk. pastor did explain but i didn't really get him.. soooo i wiki-ed! =) i can't tell you how useful and informative this website is!! i love it!

here's what the search turned up:

In the Christian calendar, Holy Thursday — also called Maundy Thursday and, in the Eastern and Oriental Orthodox Churches, Great Thursday — is the feast or holy day on the Thursday before Easter that commemorates the Last Supper of Jesus Christ with the Apostles. It is followed by Good Friday.

On this day, four events are commemorated: the washing of the Disciples' feet by Jesus Christ, the institution of the Mystery of the Holy Eucharist at the Last Supper, the agony of Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, and the betrayal of Christ by Judas Iscariot.

i'm enlightened (think illuminating lightbulb)

but this wasn't what struck me the most during service. it was the Stripping of The Church. This ancient practice of stripping the Lord's table and Sanctuary following communion is a vivid and dramatic way of showing the desolation and abandonment of the long night in Gethsmane and what followed.

when the pastors covered the cross with a black cloth and put on it, a crown of thorns, an involuntary gasp escaped from me. I found myself all choked up. I thought about the night and day that followed. How hard it must have been for Jesus, facing betrayal and the painful journey leading up to calvary. but what awaited at the end of it; at Golgotha was far worst and unfathomable. it was where the roman soldiers crucified Jesus. The pain, the agony, the torture. Three times He pleaded for the cup to be taken away.. the moments He endured when He was forsaken. i can't imagine all of that happening to me. i'd better off dead. but it's true isn;t it? Jesus had the power, He could've chosen to die there and then and not go through with this. yet, He chose to go on.

i've always questioned why was He so foolish to die for ME. someone He has't even met. but, He did it anyway, simply because .. He loves me. it's as simple as that. As irrational and totally naive as it may be. most non-christians think it's a super uber blind leap of faith to believe in Him, but that's what religions are all about right? it IS a leap of faith. But Christianity is certainly not about taking BLIND leaps. we know where we're going and we have the Bible to prove it. the teachings of Jesus that has trickled down generations after generations is hard-core evidence of His legacy still lives on today. the most foundation of civilization, whether you like it or not, is based on the 10 commandments. thou shalt not kill or commit adultry etc etc.. Best of all, the God whom we worship is a living God. He rose from the dead.

because of this unconditional love that Jesus gives to me, i feel guilt-ridden and so aweful sometimes. He doesn't expect much from us.. all we have to do is to spare a little bit of time each day, to listen to Him, through the bible or prayer. But that's obviously too difficult for us. most girls like me, would probably be more contented shopping around, satisfying our material wants or maybe watching TV, cable, Youtube. For guys, maybe it's the lure of ESPN; the live broadcast of soccer matches.

it's amazing how thick-skinned we, christians can be sometimes. Sure, we love; absolutely adore for Him to be around when we need him, in times of mourning or when we're having exams; or when we're saying desperate prayers to be able to flag the cab when we're running late. In these times, we plead like crazy. but once we've gotten what we wanted, it's back to those same old lives. sometimes, we don't even thank God for He has given to us. amazing how mean we can get. do we even practise common courtesy with God?

and He's done so much for us.

Are we worthy at all?

these were the thoughts that flooded my mind when the Church was being stripped. perhaps it's a timely reminder of what Jesus had sacrificed for us; for me.

all the promises that we've made to God, have we kept them? or left them empty and hanging precariously at the point of no return?

i know i'm not sitting on my bum no more. i'm gonna keep my promise.

Crucified laid behind the stone
You lived to die rejected and alone
Like a Rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all

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in retrospect

in retrospect.

don't know why, but i've a burning desire in my heart to write. not blog-write, but to write serious stuff; to write for an audience. It's almost as if I wana make writing my career. but, i still yearn to be a teacher. i never thought i'll ever hear myself say this, but I LOVE WRITING!!

The magazine, LIVELINE, published by my church has inspired me so much so that I wana be on the team. I WANA WRITE FOR LIVELINE!!!

this is a really big step of faith for me 'coz nobody has ever, well, really praised my writing before, besides my GP teacher. But, my GP grade has opened up a new horizon for me, luring me into unexplored territory. and i'm excited about it. i'm neither afraid, nor worried, but i am all charged up, ready to put my best foot forward.

literary world, here i come.


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of hopes and dreams
impressions and burning desires
frazzled nerves and sweaty palms

what are You telling me?



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