July 6, 2009 Don't Fear Deeper Friendships by Rick Warren

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV).

When we're full of fear and anxiety, we don't get close to each other. We back off from each other. We're afraid of being rejected, manipulated, vulnerable, hurt, or used. All of these fears cause us to disconnect in life.

This fear is as old as humanity. When Adam and Eve sinned, and God came looking for them, Adam said, "I was afraid . . . so I hid" (Genesis 3:10 NIV). People have been doing that ever since. We're afraid, so we hide. We hide our true selves.

We don't let people know what we're really like. We don't let them see the inside of us. Why? Because if we let people know what we're like and they don't like it, we're up a creek without a paddle. Tough luck. Why am I afraid to tell you who I am? Because if I tell you who I am, and you don't like me, I'm in for it. I have no alternative. So we wear masks and we pretend.

Fear does three terrible things to relationships:

1. Fear makes us defensive. We're afraid to reveal ourselves. We defend ourselves. When people point out our weaknesses, we retaliate and defend ourselves.

2. Fear keeps us distant. We don't let people get close to us. We want to withdraw, pull back. We want to hide our emotions. We don't want to be open and honest. We become defensive and distant.

3. Fear makes us demanding. Whenever we're insecure, and the more insecure we are, the more we try to control. So we try to have the last word in a relationship. We try to dominate, control. It's always a symptom of fear and insecurity.

Where do you get the confidence, the courage, to take the first step in connecting with someone, to go into a deeper intimacy? Where do you get that courage?

You get it from God's Spirit in your life. Paul tells us in 2 Timothy 1:7, "For the Holy Spirit, God's gift, does not want you to be afraid of people but to be wise and strong (courageous), and to love them and enjoy being with them" (LB).

How do you know when you're filled with God's Spirit? You're more courageous in your relationships. You love people. You enjoy being with them. You're not afraid of them because God's Spirit is in your life. The Bible says "God is love," and "Love casts out all fear." The more of God you have in your life, the less of fear you're going to have in your life.

So the starting point in connecting with anybody is to pause, pray, and say, "God, give me the courage to take the first step." You need to do that now with a person you want to connect with.

framed

i spent a good part of yesterday night painting and attempting to draw on the desktop chest drawer set that i got awhile back from ikea but found no time to unleash thy fury of limited creativity. haha. but what a sense of finality, when i had finally begun to add colours to it. i've always had this notion - the day i finish doing something crazy to it is the day i'd feel a wee bit more complete and organized in my stationery life. haha. what stationery life? just can't tahan a messy table. one of the peeves :s organized stationery + filling in the daily planner makes me feel very satisfied, accomplished and organized. hahaha. but the point is that i loved life then, for its apparent slowness and lack of urgency in those dawdling moments, while i wiled away the evening and night, relishing solitariness - the lone brush - with slow jazz music perfusing every corner of the room. i felt Order.

pictures soon (: the backlighted photo of the evening sky from the post before this still trumps the rest. sweet. thanks you smelly kaya for your awesomeness in taking awe-full photos ;)

***

and i'm home from kampuchea-cambodia. it was an amazingly fulfilling slightly-over-a-week-long trip. so much to speak/share about and tell of. so many faith-building stories, humbling conversations and preciously few but treasured exciting adventures! but, words and language fails to give justice to this experience. it's an odd reality; this bittersweetness - a country so broken, this reversed progress of a nation. yet, it is juxtaposed with a people of quiet resolve and resilience, a fierce determination to overcome fuels their enterprising thrust and a thirst for a better and more fulfilling life. their gratitude and appreciation for the littlest things in life blows me away. a people with such warmth, sincerity and and incredibly open hearts. it's hard to tell that they've just stepped out of a tragedy - a people that once turned upon itself. and i wonder how does one make sense of a tragedy that cuts so deep? almost every person has lost a family member to the genocide. who do you believe? who can you trust? brother told on brother, sister told on sister. husbands on wives and wives on husbands. a nation struggling to stand on its two feet again, to attain self-sufficiency. but, it's a nation that needs God so, so much. so much striving - but there is rest in Jesus. to trust is to find rest.

i see Your Truth in their eyes

reflecting what the world cannot give

they're clouded by temporal reliefs

but there's just one thing: they need You

thieves and robbers may plunder and loot

but this faith in You is anchored

in Your solid Rock of Truth

that rust and moth cannot destroy and take away

these are your people

restore and heal this land

for Your mercies and glory to fall

they need Your touch

they need Your Truth

more than ever before

to be indelibly Yours

there's no greater love than Yours

there's no life

only in You

through You

Indelibly Yours/ min, jun 2009

the next time you drive behind a lorry..

was fuming earlier today. on the way lunch with the folks, i drove behind a lorry that was carrying a load of gasoline cylinders. the sticker on the back of such trucks usually reads: "DANGER HIGHLY FLAMMABLE". but today, the "D" was missing.

it read: "ANGER HIGHLY FLAMMABLE".

ah. 

the Big Guy's watching over and out for me.

surprises and lessons.

day 11 out of 15

oh exams exams

when will thou disappear from thy life

5 days. 

sorely missing everyone. exams turns you into a hermit and a dependent.

Father, i'm counting on You so much. i know i can't do it without You. please help me to have greater faith in You when i fail to see, to have the quiet and steady confidence in You. when i tire, i know You're there to give me strength to keep going, to last til midnight and wake up again - to beautiful skies that have kept me company through the days. even when i feel discouraged and absolutely frustrated, i know You have never left me and will never leave me because You love me and Your grace is all sufficient - even when i don't deserve it. for this last lap and all those before - i want to do it for You. Lord, Your mercies never fail. please remind me when i forget, k? Daddy, You're so good to me (: help me to live that out (:

love,

min

because He knows

for those mugging for exams (:

"God remembers us wherever we are. Our concerns are His concerns. Our pain is His pain. Commit your challenges and difficulties to Him. He is the all-seeing God who remembers us as a mother remembers her children, and He waits to meet our needs" - C.P. Hia/ Our Daily Bread

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." - john 14:27 

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." - james 1:5

press on! (: you're good and almost there.