i've been cringing all day because i keep thinking about all the embarrassing things that i've done in the past. i can't get rid of them.
cringe. cringe. cringe.
and i made another mistake today.
cringe.
why do i always say stupid things that put me in awkward situations. why am i always so downcast? i am so sick of it. am i hard on myself? i don't know, you tell me. are you judging me? i'm judging myself.
have i been selfish? thinking a lot more about myself then others? yes, i have. but i cannot help it.
i cannot sleep. so many flashbacks of stupidity.
i cannot sleep. fear is keeping me awake.
i cannot sleep. i feel like i'm going to screw up again.
the essays. the assessments. the interview.
no time. no time.
i want to escape.
i want to leave.
i just want out.
but i know i cannot and i shouldnt.
because that would be irresponsible
the damage would be irreconcilable
cringe.
ARGH.
but tmr will better. it will be.
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