framed

i spent a good part of yesterday night painting and attempting to draw on the desktop chest drawer set that i got awhile back from ikea but found no time to unleash thy fury of limited creativity. haha. but what a sense of finality, when i had finally begun to add colours to it. i've always had this notion - the day i finish doing something crazy to it is the day i'd feel a wee bit more complete and organized in my stationery life. haha. what stationery life? just can't tahan a messy table. one of the peeves :s organized stationery + filling in the daily planner makes me feel very satisfied, accomplished and organized. hahaha. but the point is that i loved life then, for its apparent slowness and lack of urgency in those dawdling moments, while i wiled away the evening and night, relishing solitariness - the lone brush - with slow jazz music perfusing every corner of the room. i felt Order.

pictures soon (: the backlighted photo of the evening sky from the post before this still trumps the rest. sweet. thanks you smelly kaya for your awesomeness in taking awe-full photos ;)

***

and i'm home from kampuchea-cambodia. it was an amazingly fulfilling slightly-over-a-week-long trip. so much to speak/share about and tell of. so many faith-building stories, humbling conversations and preciously few but treasured exciting adventures! but, words and language fails to give justice to this experience. it's an odd reality; this bittersweetness - a country so broken, this reversed progress of a nation. yet, it is juxtaposed with a people of quiet resolve and resilience, a fierce determination to overcome fuels their enterprising thrust and a thirst for a better and more fulfilling life. their gratitude and appreciation for the littlest things in life blows me away. a people with such warmth, sincerity and and incredibly open hearts. it's hard to tell that they've just stepped out of a tragedy - a people that once turned upon itself. and i wonder how does one make sense of a tragedy that cuts so deep? almost every person has lost a family member to the genocide. who do you believe? who can you trust? brother told on brother, sister told on sister. husbands on wives and wives on husbands. a nation struggling to stand on its two feet again, to attain self-sufficiency. but, it's a nation that needs God so, so much. so much striving - but there is rest in Jesus. to trust is to find rest.

i see Your Truth in their eyes

reflecting what the world cannot give

they're clouded by temporal reliefs

but there's just one thing: they need You

thieves and robbers may plunder and loot

but this faith in You is anchored

in Your solid Rock of Truth

that rust and moth cannot destroy and take away

these are your people

restore and heal this land

for Your mercies and glory to fall

they need Your touch

they need Your Truth

more than ever before

to be indelibly Yours

there's no greater love than Yours

there's no life

only in You

through You

Indelibly Yours/ min, jun 2009

the next time you drive behind a lorry..

was fuming earlier today. on the way lunch with the folks, i drove behind a lorry that was carrying a load of gasoline cylinders. the sticker on the back of such trucks usually reads: "DANGER HIGHLY FLAMMABLE". but today, the "D" was missing.

it read: "ANGER HIGHLY FLAMMABLE".

ah. 

the Big Guy's watching over and out for me.

surprises and lessons.

question: am i being very selfish if i don't lend people my notes?

 so far, 5 people have approached me to photocopy notes, out of which, 2 wants to zap my entire, full set of notes for a particular module. and i question their motives because they're hardly seen in class. i hesitate to help because they aren't bothering to put in effort to even help themselves in the first place. should i help freeloaders? if not, how do i reject them? then again, everyone attends the same lectures and share universal notes. so, why not share? but if i do, i'm only encouraging and perpetuating this habit of theirs. i can totally understand if you've missed a couple of classes for legitimate reasons or if you really do need help in understanding a certain topic  or just for reference. i'm sure most people would be cool with this. but this is really too much. every lecture is worth 6 full pages of notes. and how many lectures have we had this semester? 12-13 weeks of class. this isn't an issue of me being protective of my notes because everyone listens to the same lecturer, take down the same notes, at least in gist. maybe i'm slightly irked 'coz i would have to take all my notes out again and then re-file them later. but i'm most bothered because they didn't bother to put in their own effort. if all of us took the extra effort to pay attention and take notes, so should they. i'm not someone to be exploited! ALL my notes?! i don't see why you're deserving of help! so hard to be gracious. but i said yes. am i being foolish? i feel like i am. but i don't want them to see me as a selfish kiasu self-absorbed person either. a christian who acts like that. you tell me, how?