seeing couples cuddling and looking all lovey-dovey in public spaces especially the couple behind me in the library ( get a room already!! ) these days make me feel a tad annoyed. it's not the PDA that bothers me. but it's that i don't have the same kind of warmth and joy that they have. until today, what *** thinks of how i think still bothers me and i do wonder what he'll think of me if he ever comes back to this page to read this. i don't think he ever will because he hardly did when we were together... he didn't find it worthwhile to read, and that broke my heart. yes, i know of all the mature things i should do and think in such situations but in all honesty, it's hard to be mature at such moments.
valentine's day - the whole idea and concept of it seems so strange now in a sour manner. it's still mild sour taste but i can imagine it intensifying in the run-up to the actual day. 4 more days. have i become skeptical and cynical of guys? yes i would think so yet i know this mindset cannot continue because it's not good for anything. but i cannot help but feel that tinge of pain because i lost someone i loved or rather i was so deeply hurt by him to whom i gave my whole heart to. granted that lessons were learnt and will continue to be learnt, i can't deny that it has been difficult.
ed psych assignment - write thee yourself!!
like i said, i surprise myself with the angst and other newfangled feelings. newfangled not only cos it's spanking new and startlingly foreign, i'm just not used to experiencing all this. postmortem stuff.
