one for the record

'twas a study date on 2 different continents

a cuppa perk

all the best for your exam dear (:

counting down

reminiscing & giving thanks tonight

thank you for always being there

(:

see anew

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." - zeph 3:17

because God, Your love never fails to amaze me.

i love this verse so, so much. in good times and in bad - this verse applies in every situation.

God, Your Word breathes life; honey to my lips and water for my soul.

but [to seek] the good of others - 1 cor 10:23

so awful. i've always thought that i'm good with people, until today.

Being on exchange hasn't been easy. sometimes i find it hard to reconcile standards and expectations and the actions. i'm struggling, to love. to accept. to understand. i've begun to judge more quickly than to love. how do i speak the truth in love? should i speak the truth in love?

and months ago, i wrote a note about loving; to love in the way God loves us - unconditionally; with grace. i was convicted to love more, and God prepared my heart to love with vulnerability, accepting and realizing that i shouldn't have expectations; to accept and recognize that a certain amount of hurting is an unpreventable part of the process. i could do it then but now i'm blinded to this truth that was once understood with clarity.

what happened?

it's so frustrating. how do i love again?

"but if your intentions are right, then there should be no judgement. we are all but fallen men. it is one thing to disagree with the actions, and another to judge/condemn the person." - luanie

***

"make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. see to it that no one misses the grace of God and no bitter roots grows up to cause trouble and defile many." - hebrews 12:14-16

"keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood." acts:20:28

A sweet friendship refreshes the soul." Proverbs 27:9 (MSG)

Learning how to connect with people on a heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul level is one of life's most important skills. Unfortunately, nobody ever teaches us how to do this. You learn science and geography, history and math in school, but nobody teaches you how to connect with people. You may be brilliant in some subject, but if you don't know how to connect with people, you're still not going to go very far in life.

"For the Holy Spirit, God's gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them." 2 Timothy 1:7 (LB)

How do you know when you're filled with God's Spirit? You're more courageous in your relationships. You love people. You enjoy being with them. You're not afraid of them because God's Spirit is in your life. The Bible says "God is love" (1 John 4:16 NLT) and "Love casts out all fear" (1 John 4:18 NASB). The more of God you have in your life the less fear you'll have.

God wants you to learn to be unselfish. He wants you to learn to love, to be generous like Him. Colossians 3:13 says, "You must make allowances for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember God forgave you so you must forgive others" (NLT). Part of being considerate of other people's needs is making allowances for their faults.

Proverbs 17:9 says, "Love forgets mistakes." It's not that you are blind to someone else's faults; rather, you choose to overlook them. Great friends are good forgetters. They forget the bad stuff intentionally. They don't rub it in, they rub it out.

Use your words to build people up. Ephesians 4:29 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (NIV). God wants us to take these words and use them to build people.

One reason we aren't constructive with our words is we don't realize how powerful they are; yet, I bet you can still remember things people said to you in a thoughtless way as far back as grade school or college. That's how powerful words are. They leave a lasting impact. So when it comes to your mouth, think of it as a power tool and be very careful with it.

Here's how to build instead of destroying with your words --

1. Stop excusing. Stop saying, "I didn't really mean to say that." Realize that what you say impacts everyone around you.

2. Talk less. If it's a power tool, you don't have to use it as much. One of the reasons we get in trouble is we just talk too much sometimes. We need to talk less and then ...

3. Listen more. If I listen more, I can understand people's needs.

4. Start building. Think first of all, "What do they need?" How can I use a word of encouragement to build them up? How can I use a word of challenge to make a difference in someone's life? How can I use my words to build up the people I love the most?

"An honest answer is the sign of a true friendship." Proverbs 24:26 (GNT)

The fourth key to connecting with people is this: Be candid about problems in the relationship.

Being candid and being connected go together. You don't have one without the other. Genuine, healthy, deep, meaningful relationships are built on honesty, not on flattery. Flattery is a sign of a manipulator, not a sign of somebody who is genuinely your friend.

All of us have blind spots. The question that really matters is, do you have anybody in your life who loves you enough to point them out? You cannot grow unless somebody points out the things that you can't see in your life, but that need changing. Let me give you three rules for being candid in relationships:

1. Compliment in public, correct in private. Do this with your children, your spouse, your employees, and your friends.

2. Correct when they're up and not down. When I'm feeling good, I can handle almost any correction. When I'm feeling tired, I can't handle anything. Timing is everything when you're being candid.

3. Never offer correction until you've proven that you are also willing to be corrected.Remember, seek to understand before seeking to be understood. You open up your life before you expecting someone else to be open with you.

Connecting means we care enough to be candid. Who do you need to get honest with? Is there an issue you need to be candid about? "An honest answer is the sign of a true friendship." (Proverbs 24:26 GNT)

***

"so whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God -- even as i try to please everybody in every way." - 1 cor 10:31-33

Daily Hope/ Rick Warren

i wanna sing

every morning i wake

You surprise my heart

by Your beauty

the splendor of Your skies

You delight my heart

You sing over me

how can i fathom Your love

i wanna sing

i wanna sing

i wanna sing of Your great love for me

i wanna sing

learning to listen

"never has He left you,

never will He leave you...

... at all"

- never leave you/shern khor

train

was onboard the train today, from aarhus to frederikshavn (Denmark). pondering about a lot of things but thankful for the many things that have taken place as well (:

on a side note, i returned to sweden today - i am now in gothenburg, and have come to realize how much i like this country! (: beautiful architecture and most importantly, clean hostel rooms. muahahahaha. will be here till sunday morning and i'll head back to my home away from home in lulea (: yay can't wait. and i definitely need a heavy duty backpack. dragging a trolley bag in slush and 5cm thick snow isn't going to cut it. am gonna get one before i jet off to the UK & spain in march.

sometimes, when i'm able to catch my breath and reflect a little, i cannot believe that i've been given such a privileged and ridiculous opportunity to travel overseas (europe!) with lovely people! (: the ice is being broken, slowly but surely (:

ahh... many thanksgivings!

lest i forget, i'm gonna do a brief point-form summary of what i've done and seen (:

Copenhagen:

- visited an anarchic area, Christiania (go google!): graffiti all over and saw people selling and buying hash (weed) openly on tables! the whole place is without governmental jurisdiction, the laws don's apply there. it was a scary/intimidating area. guess we were quite conspicuously out of place. we got quite a few scares and were even warned by some people in there, not to take any photos :/

- went to visit the iconic mermaid (: nice old gentleman gave us a history of this maiden and of copenhagen in general. we were told that she's going to shanghai in august for awhile!

- checked out the palace and changing of guards with the full works - military band, marching et cetera, et cetera. we came on a good day because the german president paid the queen of denmark a state visit, and we witnessed it all! (: toes were completely frozen after though.

- ATE AUTHENTIC DANISH PASTRIES!!! (: yummmmmssssssssss. heaven (:

- visited Stroget, the longest shopping street in europe (!) but the things there were too expensive. our friend got scammed of 30euros = sgd100. yikes. the living standard in denmark is crazy btw. a meal costs SGD17. we almost died. thank God for supermarkets!

- went to the museum that exhibits the ruins of danish palaces. christianborg. interesting but a bit dry...

Aarhus:

- chked out the local university's architecture but it was a let down. not much to see :/

- visited an open air museum, Gamle By; it showcases a part of danish history and culture through architecture, more pastries and photos.

- went to cafe grene: amazing veggie pie/quiche! delicious! (:

- shopped a bit at H&M

- chked out the viking museum as well - that was good.

Gothenburg (Day 1):

today was quite a dramatic affair. we almost couldn't get to gothenburg because the heavy snow caused our train out to be cancelled. we had to take 1 train, get off somewhere and waited for another, which took us to frederiskavn, where we're supposed to catch our ferry back to sweden. we almost couldn't make it. and it wasn't a ferry! it was a cruisseeeee!!!! first time onboard a cruise (: but i was too lazy to walk about. felt a bit sick as well. oh wells. random note: AWESOME hostel room btw (: far cry from denmark's. let's not go there. expensive but good dinner at la gondola. carbonara for dinner. gelat.

***

thank You for always providing, for always being the faithful One even when i'm not.

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing."

- zeph 3:17

introspective reckoning

i've forgotten what it means to dream big, for God.

the trappings of busyness

caught up in the whirlwind of "must-dos" & "must-sees"

life sweeps us off our feet

to slow down

to catch up with You

to catch a glimpse of Your plans

into Your eternity

the strongholds of Your love ♥

i sang today(:

it's been awhile since i did.

missed it. my piano & guitar too.

ahh

to cultivate a heart of gratitude

to drink deep

to love life

to rejoice (:

to be home..

miss you too smelly butt *muackmuack*

my father's lo♥e for me

candlelight service '09 @ wesley

it was a very special & heartwarming evening

celebrating and remembering God's love & grace for all

a meaningful way to wrap up the year and begin a new one together (:

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path." - psalm 119:105

thank You God for all that You've given to me

Jesus, family, friends & Ian (:

♥

brave new world

TURT - the ultimate road trip

that's something i've always wanted to go for! campus crusade's forerunner team runs this event annually but they were on sabbatical for the last 2 years and hence had no chance to apply. reaching out to people through music and sharing life stories have always been something that i've wanted to do and TURT is all about that! but being in sweden now till june doesn't allow me to apply for this year's trip. haiyo. i hope i get to go next year! but anyway, who says i can't do that in sweden, right? haha.

on random note, living alone overseas has been domesticating me for quite a fair bit - i'm learning about the little tricks to cooking, cleaning and etc. it's quite enriching and helpful actually. i shall be better when i return to sg. haha. cleaning my room and doing my laundry used to take up the bulk of my time after i return from school and it does get quite tiring after awhile... it makes me appreciate auntie misa and everything that i used to take for granted so much more. i realized that i didn't know how to wash my own toilet properly and had to google it to find out more. what a sheltered life i lead.

sometimes, i find that i fear the uncertainty of living overseas; the uncertainties of change at home and here, the flux of human complexities and relationships puts me on a certain edge. but hey, i know my God is greater than all my fears and my concerns. whatever He gives to me and all that He allows me to go through is to make everything in my life beautiful in His time. Ecclesiastes 13:11 says that He has already MADE everything beautiful in its time - kinda crazy to comprehend that God has already made everything good in my life and is waiting for me to go through all of them to taste and see that He is good, right? but it's true... all these abject and trying moments, fears and worries - how much am i willing to let go of that to wholly trust my God?

will i ever learn to let go of the things that grip me?

when will i really learn to trust?

when will i truly learn to have faith?

where i lack, God, i know You fill up and make whole

turn my eyes towards You again

and truly come to understand how deeply You love me

***

wah. that was an unretrained outpouring of mish mash of thoughts. i really need to be cathartic more often.

return

my blogged died and shall be revived. gosh, it's been so long. i've come to realize i really miss writing and blogging so much. it helps me think and reflect a lot more. and i really do think i'm reflecting a lot lesser now and that's not good. i'm gonna get down to writing again and put things in perspective by think-writing. so much has happened in such a short time. God, Your Name is worthy to be praised! thank You for everythingggggggggg (:

emote

it's been awhile since i've last visited this corner of cyberspace.

i'm already homesick.

12 more days to 5 months in sweden and 1 month in europe.

so many things to leave behind

so hard

family and friends

ministry - the girls

so much i want to do

but so little time

the suitcase is not even packed

emo nemo today

remembrance

because 4th dec 2009 is special (:

God's♥

mum & dad are so loving (:

day by day will i give thanks to You

i haven't had this good a sleep in a really long time.

so snug under the covers

woke up feeling really rested and happy this morning (:

the skies are so blue and room so incredibly breezy

*contented sigh* haha

i feel at ease

at peace

joyful (:

beautiful mornings

they bring me hope of Your unfailing love (:

[whee, a happy-looking picture. haha]

3 papers down, just 1 more to go.

i'll be free in 6 days.

can't wait (:

meetupswithallmyhomies

mygirlstheyouths

grandmafamily

doingmyfavouritethings

parksbookswrite

drinktea,hebehiambread

slow&relaxingbreakfasts

ah, life.

sweden.

2 down, 2 to go! (:

glum blum flum drum

i'm having a very blue monday morning. i'm lacking sleep and feeling blah. wet and dreary. perfect for sleeping in but not so when one needs to be studying. it's one of those days that i ask God to pick me up, hold me close to His heart and stay there for awhile and feel His warmth, and not bother about all that warrants my attention. *sniffles* go away blues, go away disturbing discouraging discordant thoughts, go away! you're not a friend. it's one of those days that i feel like i lack warmth and love and hugs and joy and smiles and everything else. i miss being around people, my homies. even the nice and old christmas songs that starbucks is playing isn't helping to lift my mood. boo.

When the day is done
And there's no one else around
While I'm lying here in bed
You're in my heart, You're in my head
You're all I need, You're all I need
There are a million voices
Calling out my name
But You're the One I want to hear
So make the others disappear

You are all I need when I'm surrounded
You are all I need if I'm by myself
You fill me when I'm empty
There is nothing else
You're all I need

When the morning comes
And Your mercy is renewed
There's a fire in my bones
I'm not afraid to go alone
You're all I need
You're all I need
The sun on my face
I hear You whisper loud
You're still the God that opens seas
Every flower, even me
You're all I need
You're all I need

I'm drawn to everything that You do
Nothing compares with You

You are all i need/ Bethany Dillon

examophobia

"cast all your anxieties upon Him for He cares for you."

- 1 pet 5:7

this much i have, to give.

A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand
The hours passed so quickly, the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed
But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
The kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out
With the trust of a child

he said: "Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will"
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer
So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small
I trust in you

I trust in you
So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you willI surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
No gift is too small

"five loaves & 2 fishes"/ corrinne may

release

*breathes*

i feel like i can breathe again

guitar practical test is over.

6 essays over.

1 mid term down.

1 presentation down.

just 1 final essay to go

and then the exams

oh woooow. this feeling... it's hard to describe.

it's literally a load off my chest. relief. so liberating.

*exhales*

the final essay is due tmr.

i'll be liberated (albeit temporarily) after 6pm.

and then one evening to rest (:

i'm so looking forward to the quiet solitude of prepping for exams

and all the awesome things after that

my girls, i want to spend time with my girls (:

i haven't done enough for them - to do more

the hols means spending time with precious everyone and many yous (:

i can breathe now.

thank You Father, for seeing me through this crazy season and i know You will continue to see me through the last essay and the exams. so Dad, thanks a million in advance (: what would i do without You, really. Your peace guarded my heart and mind this season, Your love and grace abounded when i least deserved it; when i needed it most. it's so much that i can never repay. not forgetting all the people that You've sent to encourage, help and push me in the right direction too. precious friends and family.

so thankful (: