that's something i've always wanted to go for! campus crusade's forerunner team runs this event annually but they were on sabbatical for the last 2 years and hence had no chance to apply. reaching out to people through music and sharing life stories have always been something that i've wanted to do and TURT is all about that! but being in sweden now till june doesn't allow me to apply for this year's trip. haiyo. i hope i get to go next year! but anyway, who says i can't do that in sweden, right? haha.
on random note, living alone overseas has been domesticating me for quite a fair bit - i'm learning about the little tricks to cooking, cleaning and etc. it's quite enriching and helpful actually. i shall be better when i return to sg. haha. cleaning my room and doing my laundry used to take up the bulk of my time after i return from school and it does get quite tiring after awhile... it makes me appreciate auntie misa and everything that i used to take for granted so much more. i realized that i didn't know how to wash my own toilet properly and had to google it to find out more. what a sheltered life i lead.
sometimes, i find that i fear the uncertainty of living overseas; the uncertainties of change at home and here, the flux of human complexities and relationships puts me on a certain edge. but hey, i know my God is greater than all my fears and my concerns. whatever He gives to me and all that He allows me to go through is to make everything in my life beautiful in His time. Ecclesiastes 13:11 says that He has already MADE everything beautiful in its time - kinda crazy to comprehend that God has already made everything good in my life and is waiting for me to go through all of them to taste and see that He is good, right? but it's true... all these abject and trying moments, fears and worries - how much am i willing to let go of that to wholly trust my God?
will i ever learn to let go of the things that grip me?
when will i really learn to trust?
when will i truly learn to have faith?
where i lack, God, i know You fill up and make whole
turn my eyes towards You again
and truly come to understand how deeply You love me
***
wah. that was an unretrained outpouring of mish mash of thoughts. i really need to be cathartic more often.
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