what does chipper mean?

chipper means being happy (:

my posts aren't intentionally moody and grumpy..

why can't you encourage me just a little bit?
that's all i ask from you.
is that too much?

there's a reason why i don't share. coz you only know how to put me down - every single time. and i don't need that. can't you see that i'm putting in a lot of effort? can't you see that i'm making changes? why can't you just love me for who i am?

for too long, for far too long.

i'm sick and tired.




God help me, please.
focus on your giants
you will stumble
focus on Jesus
your giants will tumble

just hoping.
hoping.




the hope rang true (:

i had a good talk with God today (: refreshed and recharged.

but at the same time, i gotta be more cautious. coz this is when S.A. Tan comes into the picture.

But if God's for me, who can be against me?

to give my all.
for my family, for worship, for hospitality, for liveline, for school.
to honour God with everything; every single aspect of my life.

today's the day that everything will change. today's my turning point.

this is so exciting! hahaha. i just realized that my macbk can choose to startup with mac os or windows vista! i have the best of both worlds (:

i only have a wee bit to go for my assignment! yay!

1 down, 2 to go. hahaha. but it's getting kinda hard to concentrate. i'm not tired. my mind just keeps drifting and i start daydreaming. nice feeling. haha. i dont feel like writing anymore.

but.i.must.

yay! looking forward to tmr (:
mugging session with steffi dearest before post mid autumn-sparklers party and worship ministry makan session! (:

and yes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIFFANY TAN! (: the fastest female runner in AMC. hahaha *salutes*

a malay friend posed me this qn: what is chinese culture to me?

honestly, that question took me by surprise. i didnt really know what to say. yes, the chinese culture is about my roots, my heritage. but shouldnt it mean more? not just to me, but to everyone else.

i thought for awhile and replied: my culture to me is my heritage; my roots. more than that, it is a treasure trove of knowledge and resilience.

it's sad that so many of us - chinese, are losing that all spark. what it means to embrace our culture, to not only live it with our skin colour, but to also SPEAK the language and to know what is it really all about. ang-mohs can tell us all the once-upon-a-time, in-the-southern-part- of-china-stories, and we can hardly even come up with 3 on our own.

it's a real shame. it really is.

where is the resilience to preserve?
what happened to the treasure trove of knowledge?

mr insomnia is back

i have assignments to do but i'm soooo lazy. i MUST get down to doing it. i slacked my whole recess. terrible. i am so sure that i'm going to get bitten in my butt 'coz of it. oh well.

oh mymy.

what an awesome day (:
chris.daniel.weeteck.andrew.ray.marshall.kevin (:

one more thing, DEATH AT A FUNERAL (NC16) is highly recommended. go watch it! it's sooo good! havent had such a good laugh in a long while.
*disclaimer: barnyard language

chk out the trailer here:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORINNE!!!!! (:

i lub chew! (:

hey (:

please take note that i'm changing my blog add to:

http://journallingwithhim.blogspot.com

cya!

Pearly Wearly's 19th! (:

Botanic Gardens Picnic

they were the reason why i loved my JC days (:

tired. haha

birthday girl with her jump shot! haha

i love this photo! we look like a bunch of overgrown kids! haha

funny faces

another jump shot!


force-feeding
nothin better on earth than good company, old school card games, potato salad and nature(:
gene's jump shot under the old oak tree!

i love them (:

addicted to oranges.
addicted to running.
withdrawal symptoms for fried and fatty food kicking in.

i.must.resist.temptation

then again, if i resist temptation, it won't be called temptation anymore. ta-dah. haha.

let's hope this trying-to-be-fit-mindset doesnt fizzle out (:

i love that deep achey feeling in my legs, back and arms. the kind of pleasurable pain that you get ONLY after running. oh my my. so super shiok. then again.. it could also mean that i didnt cool down enough... oh oops. haa..

but still, running is indeed therapeutic. i ran 4km yesterday and i shall continue to do so every day. and i aim to increase the distance by 1km every week.

man, running makes me so happy!! havent felt that good in a long time. and i wonder why i procrastinated.

club run! here i come. wheeeeeeeeeeee!

oh yeah baby, i'm back.

i am trying to finish my literature abstract. but, i want to sleep.

sigh. yet another.

whatever it is, i'm going to trust You.

an unexpected phonecall (:

i wana sing a new song to You
a song of renewed strength
a song of redeeming love
a song of unfathomable mercy and grace

thank You Lord (:


thanks so much to all who smsed/tagged/called/talked to me. i appreciate it so much. thank God for all of you *big hug* (:

sometimes i wished that i didnt have so much to think about. so much to resolve. so much to grapple with. dont get me wrong. i love my work. i love EVERYTHING that i'm doing. it's just one of the days that i feel down. one of the very rare days. it's this cyclical thing. and right now, it's the trough. days when i just don't feel like talking to anyone at all. i'm not upset. i'm not angry or whatsoever. i just feel like this. and there ain't got no explanation for it. my heart is ruling over my very logical head for now..

worst of all, i feel like i miss the whole world. i miss talking to people whom i used to talk to for hours on end. i miss journalling with GOd. i miss shopping - not for the apparels, but for the quality time spent with loving girlfriends. i miss sleeping in. i miss talking to all my besties. i miss everything that makes me happy.

i miss feeling happy.

it's hard to pinpoint where all my confusion, my catharsis, stem from. i guess it kinda built up over the months.

think i've neglected my emotions, myself for a tad bit too long. i need alone time. BUT, i dont want to be alone. i agree that i contradict myself too much.

you'll be surprised that at a grand old age of 19, i'm still forming my identity. yes, my identity is in Christ. But, i gotta find who I am in Him.

these intense and deep rooted emotions from the depths of my being,ones i never knew i possessed are now surfacing; trying to take over the reins of my life. it's easy to slip into a whirlwind of a million thoughts. but when you're not careful, you lose your foothold. then, turning back is just about one of the hardest things you ever have to do.

but who am i?
who sees me for who i am?
who knows me?
who am i to you?
who am i to anybody at all?

it's not a masquerade
it's a struggle against feeling vulnerable
i laugh and i smile
but who knows about all my fears, failures and pain?

why is it that when one laugh the hardest, it's the time one feels most like crying?

Oh God, you know my heart, you know me best. in all these, help me to honour You and hold on to Your truth, in Your arms, in Your embrace. please hold me close.. oh God. please.

it was a mistake from the start.

i know full well that i'm not supposed to be like this. but i just dont know why i feel this way.

i'll get over it.

ambling forward

the significance of insignificance.
it applies to every part.