comfort, in His beautifully marred hands

child, trust Me

as minute succeeds minute

let each day be a daily surrender

let Me catch you when you fall

secure in My marred hands

please Me

let Me love you

rest; lay to rest all your strivings

to know and to always remember

that you're wonderfully and fearfully made

embrace you

you're loved

therefore, love

know that My plans for you are good and perfect

the best, just and only for you

sing in every season

write and remember

the scars of hurts

faith in affliction

the joy of a healed and hopeful heart

My marred hands holding you

never will I leave you at all

drink deep

laugh

trust

hope

be present

be joyful

be grateful

live unbridled

rejoice

***

a sweet refreshing

the way strawberries are;

like summer in my mouth (:

the sweetest thing

once a upon a time

i met a boy at a thanksgiving dinner

he was tall and armed with a camera phone
he tagged a video of me

and we became friends on facebook
i told him a joke

and we added each other on msn
we've been talking ever since
september 2008, maybe.
then he got posted to my church as an intern

that was january '09

and started sitting in in all our youth meetings

serendipitous (:
he saw more of me
and i saw more of him
we started texting
time passed
and we were still talking almost everyday

september 2009
our first fight as friends

ymlc - significant

God did something in our hearts

our perspectives changed
and it began
october 2009
he asked me out on study dates

and finally, on a dinner date (:

hours long phone calls late into the night

more dates & surprises - literally - followed (:

he said 'I love you'

and i did too

"it's a sweet, sweet thing

standing here with you and nothing to hide"

we waited 'til it was right

"the more you love God, the more you'll learn to love others"

and a letter from a beloved mentor:

"for if the willingness [to obey] is there,

the gift is acceptable according to what one has,

not according to what he does not have."

- 2 cor 8:13

on that fateful day

you held my hand in yours - cheeky!

but i like (:

and we made it official

on the 4th of december 2009

blessed with blessings from all around

friends, family & loved ones

our promise rings - 1 john 4:19

to love God first and love God most

the 25th - kairos, you'd said (:

i left for sweden in january of 2010

lots of prayers

lots of heartaches

many nights and days spent with a tear-stained pillow

but love is patient; it always hopes, perseveres, protects and trusts

fast forward; may 2010

we celebrate 5 months of love&gratefulness
blissfully in love

although we're almost 9,500km apart
thankful to the Author who wrote each page of our lives before it came into being
to have and to hold from this day forward

only 50 more days apart.

a lifetime to love; laugh and struggle, together

i ♥ you, ian lee (:

***

i wrote this because i miss you a lot

and i hope it made you smile (:

there's so much to be thankful for

although all that's ahead may be uncertain

but it's God who holds our hands and future in His unfailing love

that is hope

our future, secured.

***

love

strength

Becoming Like Jesus Is a Slow Process by Rick Warren

This will continue until we are . . . mature, just as Christ is, and we will be completely like him. Ephesians 4:13 (CEV)

Becoming like Christ is a long, slow process of growth. Spiritual maturity is neither instant nor automatic; it is a gradual, progressive development that will take the rest of your life.Referring to this process, Paul said, "This will continue until we are . . . mature, just as Christ is, and we will be completely like him." (Ephesians 4:13 CEV)

You are a work in progress. Your spiritual transformation in developing the character of Jesus will take the rest of your life, and even then it won't be completed here on earth. It will only be finished when you get to heaven or when Jesus returns.At that point, whatever unfinished work on your character is left will be wrapped up.

The Bible says that when we are finally able to see Jesus perfectly, we will become perfectly like him: "We can't even imagine what we will be like when Christ returns. But we do know that when he comes we will be like him, for we will see him as he really is." (1 John 3:2 NLT)

Much confusion in the Christian life comes from ignoring the simple truth that God is far more interested in building your character than he is anything else. We worry when God seems silent on specific issues such as "What career should I choose?"The truth is, there are many different careers that could be in God's will for your life. What God cares about most is that whatever you do, you do in a Christlike manner. (1 Corinthians 10:31; 1 Corinthians 16:14; Colossians 3:17, 23)

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

"Let all that you do be done in love."

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him... Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."

God is far more interested in who you are than in what you do. We are human beings, not human doings. God is much more concerned about your character than your career, because you will take your character into eternity, but not your career.

The Bible warns, "Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. . . . Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." (Romans 12:2 MSG)

You must make a counterculture decision to focus on becoming more like Jesus. Otherwise, other forces like peers, parents, co-workers, and culture will try to mold you into their image.

Sadly, a quick review of many popular Christian books reveals that many believers have abandoned living for God's great purposes and settled for personal fulfillment and emotional stability. That is narcissism, not discipleship.

Jesus did not die on the cross just so we could live comfortable, well-adjusted lives. His purpose is far deeper: he wants to make us like himself before he takes us to heaven. This is our greatest privilege, our immediate responsibility, and our ultimate destiny.

"food for thought" at north bridge

"2 chefs" at tanglin

"one caramel" beside cathay

"p.s. cafe" at dempsey

stronger

i sat in bed to talk to God this morning, but before i could utter a single word, i cried. for a long time. i had no idea how or why the tears came. it then dawned on me that i'm hurting and i'm longing for home, to be in my Father's house. it's so hard to stand up for what's right and perhaps the sinking feeling of being misunderstood. i feel alone. but who else but Jesus who knows that feeling best? misunderstood and crucified, alone in the darkest hours of His life.

though my flesh is weak and my heart may fail, i know that God, You're the portion and the strength of my heart forever. You will deliver me.

i'm holding on to You.

life

lake district, windemere, UK - march '10

blue skies

fluffy clouds

glistening lakes

rolling green hills

sunshine

glorious

"Jesus' statement, 'do not judge' [matt 7:1], is against the hypocritical, judgmental attitude that tears others down in order to build oneself up. it is not a blanket statement against all critical thinking, but a call to be discerning rather than negative." - life application bible NIV

wow

warning: [explicit language]

I am a Christian. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for the way that I come across
So fair and faith friendly and full of myself
Judging your spiritual health by the words that you say
And the way that you dress, and the things that you do
Or maybe just judging you.

I’m sorry for the way that I live my life
So confident of my own beliefs that
I would never even think to think about thinking about yours

I’m sorry for the wars.
Ivory clad Crusaders mounting steeds and drawing swords
With such a spirit that if The Spirit spoke they wouldn’t hear
But you see the sword of the spirit was not a sword but the Word
And the Word was with God and the Word was God
And they preached this as they marched on the Holy Land
Singing and Praying and Killing and Slaying
And purging and healing and raping and stealing
It’s ironic that they lined there pockets in the name of God
Just like the priests who line their pockets in the name of God
Just like the people that you can’t stand, because they always raise their hand
And spread their faith and hate and judgment in the name of God

I’m sorry that I take God’s name in vain
Or rather I’m sorry that I stain the name of God
Defending my selfish actions as selfless actions pertaining to the will of God

I’m sorry for being intolerant
For trying to talk down to you
For trying to talk over you
For not letting you talk

I’m sorry for not walking the walk
For being a hypocritical critical Christian
Criticizing your pagan lifestyle while my lifestyle styles itself
Just like the televangelist’s hair
All slick and sly and slippery
As the silver syllables slide their way into your ear

But see that’s my greatest fear
That the steps I take won’t match the words I speak
So that when I speak all you hear of me
is a weak hypocritical critical Christian
Doing one thing, but saying another
Loving my friend, but hating my brother
It’s a show.

I’m sorry I get drunk on Saturdays
and go to church on Sundays to pray
for my friends who get drunk on Saturdays

And on that note,
I’m sorry for making the church about the pews and the cross
And the walls and the steeple
Because see the building is not the church
The church is the people

I’m sorry that I hate you because you are gay
I’m sorry I condemn you to hell because you are gay
Instead of loving I jump to hatred
Mouth open and tongue preaching
Eyes open but not seeing that you are the same as me
Just a fucking human being

I’m sorry that I only hang out with Christian friends
And we do nice Christian things
Like pot luck dinners and board game nights
While in the night a man beats his girlfriend again
Another homeless man died again
Is this the way that my own crowd has been?
But here I am with the same friends again
But see what I always forget is that Jesus didn’t come
to hang out with the priests and the lords.
No, He hung out with cripples and beggars and whores

Love

I’m sorry for history
For native tribes wiped out in the name of the church
Lodges burning Stomachs churning and yearning for justice
And mothers screaming and pleading
Pleading for the young ones
As they are dragged away to church schools
Where they were abused
I’m sorry for the way that I refused
To learn your culture
Instead I just came to spread the Gospel
And the plague

I’m sorry that I stand at the front doors of abortion clinics
Screaming at 15 year old girls as they enter
Instead of waiting at the back door to hug them as they leave

I’m sorry for taking my wars and my faith to your lands
When historically it was on your lands that my faith was born
And in the face of the storm, I realize that
If God is Love and Love is God
Then why are we shooting instead of sharing?
Why are we launching instead of learning?
Why are we warring instead of walking together?
Why are we taking instead of talking together?
Why are we bombing instead of breaking bread together as brothers?

You see I think that God looks down and He’s sad
And from His right hand throne above
Jesus asks where is the Love?
And if it takes Wil-I-Am and Justin Timberlake
Asking that same question for us
To start asking that same question
Then where the fuck are we headed?

So I will take this stage to be my chapel
And this mic my confession booth
And in the presence of God, the few, the proud,
and the blessed I confess, that
I am a Christian. I’m sorry.

loss

i've just done one of the hardest things i've to do in this lifetime - tell a friend that i disagree with what she's doing and that she needs to do something about it. i'm trying so hard to make it work. for a huge portion of love and gentleness. i tried to be happy with and for her but i couldn't. was i too harsh? tough love. this, at the price of potentially losing a friendship. let it be the right move. God, please let it be. this hurts. yet Lord, You're the Author of our lives and You wrote each page before it came into being; reign sovereign. trust.

poetry duos

i'm not sure if you look at the bible the same way as i do but there's just so much poetry and lyricism in God's words. It's... captivating (: I started a poetry book some time ago - haha, yes i really did - to scribble bits of words that i think are incredibly, beautifully phrased. the words - they come to life because it's so alive in its imagery; all its form and the feelings that they evoke. life-giving, really.

here's something for today (:

"for the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business."

- james 1:11

and a favourite:

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart."

- prov 3:3-4

do you see the juxtaposition of grace and strength, and a clarity in the words?

i think it's astounding (: not many poets write like that these days. think what's written in the bible gives most poets a run for their money. inspiration from the holy spirit, heh. (;

remember

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels,

but have not love,

I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom

all mysteries and all knowledge,

and if I have a faith that can move mountains,

but have not love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,

but have not love, I gain nothing.

***

And now these three remain: faith, hope & love.

But the greatest of these is LOVE.

***

- 1 Corinthians 1-3, 13

poetry

"all men are like grass,

and all their glory is like the flowers

of the field.

The grass withers and the flowers fall,

because the breath of the Lord

blows on them.

Surely the people are grass.

The grass withers and the flowers fall,

but the word of our God stands

forever."

- Isaiah 40:6-8

***

to look for Jesus in everyone

make soft this hardened heart;

to keep on loving

***

being homesick is something that i've never quite gotten over

and i don't think i ever will.

so much of who i am has to do with time spent with you.

that's how much all of you mean to me.

it's just something i've got to deal with

friends here are great

the pace of life; comfortable

love my own space

but really, there's no place... quite like home

***

things aren't always good but you're there to make it ♥

thanks love

i think God likes to whisper to me on sunny mornings (:

"everything that I desire

really may not meet my needs

help me to seek first Your Kingdom

You'll provide for me."

- grace for me/ michael grungor

sometimes we tell God that we want to do this, this and that for Him when we've forgotten that a heart of servitude is about being where God needs us to be and not we want to do.

it may not be easy, it may not be glamourous but if God said that He can work through my brokenness and imperfections or the littlest that i can offer; i'll yield.

broken vessels we are; each carrying a piece of God's heart to one another. a glimpse of heaven, all but a glimpse of His loving heart for us.

(:

a beautiful love story in itself

snowflakes dancing outside my window sill

just a bit of sunshine tonight

over the months of being here, God has been speaking and ministering to me in the quiet moments; in moments of choosing to sit and be still, which i know i haven't been doing enough of. i feel tears welling in my eyes as i type this because... i just miss being in His house so much and running around serving Him in the capacity that He has given me... that which i've taken for granted so much. i miss my 2nd family back home so, so much. never have i realized the importance of fellowship until now - they build you up and breathe life into your being, into the person that you are and can become, as iron sharpens iron.

empty.

i feel empty.

a God-shaped vacuum in every heart and mine.

Grace for me

This jar of clay and all its weakness;
Somehow inside dwells Your fullness.
Even though I’m not yet flawless,
You are forming me.

Your grace for me is all I need
All I need is here
Your grace for me
Is all I need
All I need is here

Everything that I desire really may not meet my needs.
Help me to seek first Your kingdom.
You’ll provide for me.

Your grace for me
Is all I need
All I need is here
Your grace for me is all I need
All I need is here

Valleys come and tears aren’t dry yet and there are things I don’t yet see.
But I’ll rejoice despite of hardship; You’ll watch over me.

Your grace for me is all I need
All I need is here
Your grace for me is all I need
All I need is here
Your grace for me is all I need
All I need is here
All I need
All I need is here in You

- Michael Gungor and Michael Rossback

amen.

***

one for the record

'twas a study date on 2 different continents

a cuppa perk

all the best for your exam dear (:

counting down

reminiscing & giving thanks tonight

thank you for always being there

(:

see anew

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." - zeph 3:17

because God, Your love never fails to amaze me.

i love this verse so, so much. in good times and in bad - this verse applies in every situation.

God, Your Word breathes life; honey to my lips and water for my soul.