glorious

i can't get enough of this video!

love it!

the S-Word

the alarm is ringing

everything is yelling screaming

vying for sole attention

but stunted is my extension

6 presentations

2 essays and 

1 quiz down

1 report and 1 presentation for tmr

another presentation for wed

and a final essay by next fri

and there're only

14 days to exams

blurb

i can't believe i'm in school on a friday night.

not for cca and neither is it for project meeting.

it's to write my essay. i must admit that the library's rather conducive but i hate having to miss pcg because of this.

i should've worked faster and harder...

sigh.

here's to a long weekend of project meetings. 

it ain't no public holiday for me.

per.ser.vere.

i'm looking forward to the weekend!

the happenings II

so my nick on msn was: "min sings: no sleep tonight, no sleep tonighhhhhtttt"

and benedict and i had a conversation that went like this:

min. says: (9:17:42 PM)

work until no sleep tonight 

min. says: (9:17:46 PM)

no sleep toniggghhhtttt

Wordplay = The Remedy In The Pink says: (9:17:58 PM)

haha okok

Wordplay = The Remedy In The Pink says: (9:17:58 PM)

simi song lai eh?

min. says: (9:22:29 PM)

hahaaha

min. says: (9:22:41 PM)

you can finish writing the rest of the song

min. says: (9:22:42 PM)

ahhaha

Wordplay = The Remedy In The Pink says: (9:23:36 PM)

haha

Wordplay = The Remedy In The Pink says: (9:24:11 PM)

the coffee is hot and deadline is tight as a knot?

Wordplay = The Remedy In The Pink says: (9:24:12 PM)

hahaha

how apt!

yes ben, you make a good lyricist ;) hahahahahha

the happenings

haha i thought this was rather hilarious:

so i was making my way out of the inside half of the passenger seat onboard 179. as i was about to get out of it, the bus braked abruptly and the lady sitting on the outer half of the seat, side face-planted herself on my butt.

how embarrassing.

i think she was more embarrassed.

hahahahahaha. this really is quite funny on hindsight. 

this calm..

it's going to be assignment-ing till next friday before the exams begin.
how time flies, it's going to be christmas again (:
and can't wait to meet and hang out (:

*waves to those overseas*

hello friend, please come home soon! i miss you already!


of home, heart and hearth.

i'm suddenly so thankful for school,
for my project groupmates.
it's been fun (:

Neruda sonnet 49

this is an uber cool video that has to be shared.

luciana Souza singing while playing the Kalimba (The kalimba is an instrument in the percussion family. It is a modernized version of the African Mbira. It is a sound box with metal keys attached to the top to give the different notes. It is also known as the African thumb piano.)



It's today: all of yesterday dropped away
among the fingers of the light and the sleeping eyes.
Tomorrow will come on its green footsteps;
no one can stop the river of the dawn.

No one can stop the river of your hands,y
our eyes and their sleepiness, my dearest.
You are the trembling of time, which passes
between the vertical light and the darkening sky.

The sky folds its wings over you,
lifting you, carrying you to my arms
with its punctual, mysterious courtesy.
That is why I sing to the day and to the moon,
to the sea, to time, to all the planets,
to your daily voice, to your nocturnal skin.

It's today: all of yesterday dropped away
among the fingers of the light and the sleeping eyes.
Tomorrow will come on its green footsteps;
no one can stop the river of the dawn.
It's today, it's today...

wooooo!! the prayer (:

oh wow.. their voices are amazing! 

really beautiful rendition of The Prayer.

originally performed by charlotte church.

and guess what? Julia's only 12 years old! *gasp*

talent like that has got to be innate, man.

i thought she was great but i think it was 

Christopher who was the real show-stopper.

his voice took my breath away. *melts* haha.

anw, does he by any chance look familiar to

you guys too? 

was he ever on singapore idol? hrms.

fluff

ahhh

i so want to get out of the country and have some space to breathe

breathe unpolluted fresh air

think i'll go to scotland tonight.  in airbus ZZZ :D

mankind is no island

raw

oh the frustration of being mad at myself.

i didnt know what i should do and just felt so lost. i was just sitting and asking God what's happening? what do i do? i feel so mad at myself because i'm not rising up to any occasion, in any circumstance. i'm frustrated. so much has been given to me and yet i'm not using any of it. i feel dissatisfied. 

my heart has been so hardened. what's happening? it's maddening.

i was aimless for awhile tonight. He heard. God led me to Eeleen's blog and she hit the bull's eye of how i feel right now. argh. dissatisfaction and just the ugliness in me. my heart has been so hardened, it scares me. i've lost my focus and i find myself veering off track so many times. so much unresolved. so much mess inside. the mess that i know only Jesus can clear. 

-deleted-

i'm so much at a loss for words today that i have to borrow someone else's.

"i'm not satisfied doing it my own way"

there must be more than this.

i find, i'm highly dissatisfied with me again. and no wonder, thinking about me - my needs, my hurts, my dreams, my hopes, my problems - most of the time is quite nauseauting. and potentially depressing may i add.

the smallness is suffocating. 

and yet, realising there's more, and how i've settled on the fence is somewhat worse. i don't want the form without the power. melt my heart of stone please. 

sick of it.


"so let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total committment, God will clear your blurred vision - you'll see it yet! now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it...

there are many others out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them.. all they want it is easy street. they hate Christ's cross. but easy street is a dead-end street.

..but there's far more to life for us."

philippians 3:15,16,18,20a (the MSG)

- Eeleen

the six billion dollar experiment

this was what Gabriel wrote on his blog:

"I'm watching the BBC documentary on YouTube about the six billion dollar experiment. The one that would end the world.

Apparently what they intend to do is to send two protons (not the Malaysian cars) from each end of a 27km tube to crash them together to see if they can break it down into a smaller piece. 

What I would love to see is the experiment fail and for all 5,000 scientists to admit that no matter how hard they try, how much money they put in, there is only one satisfactory answer as to how the world began. God."

agreed.

here comes the sun!

pearls & wei! look what i found! :D

hello you

yes you

i believe you can do it (:

MUACKS!

glorious afternoons

i feel happy (:

i love afternoons like these - musing lazily in the warmth of the noonday's sun by my window on the cool marble chair. don't know why but there's a sense of escape and rest. 

the weather is absolutely wonderful

the sun, glorious

clear blue skies

dotted with clouds here and there

smells of the warm summer breeze wafting through the window

yet the air is light and cool within the house

the birds chirping outside

just this quiet blend of sounds

with the occasional humming of a passing air plane (i live near the tengah airbase) or a chugging of a bus revving its engine at the bustop

chattering voices from the street below

the tinkling of a neighbour's wind chime

the ceiling fan oscillating quietly 

the rustling of the papers on my notice board

the effect of it all - hard to put into words. really savouring this moment of peacefulness and quietness in the midst of the hum drum of movements around. there is just something really calm and soothing about this afternoon.. and i like it.

ahh.. the lack of better adjectives to paint this picture of what i see and feel.

the simple things in life.  

so peaceful

so releck

feels so good

(: 

an overcomer

**edited

plunging deeper into the recesses of the self, i found me again in the circumstance of living under peoples' shadows, drowning in their accreditations for what they've done well and right and realizing that i'm just not making the cut. i found myself wanting to do things just so that they'll like me and not look at me a certain way - like i'm incapable of doing what's right.

had a little quibble with a friend a couple of weeks ago, but we made up within the evening. but i somehow feel extremely unsettled. even till today. my friend, that particular friend has always made me feel like i wasn't good enough. always made me feel that i do everything wrong. i feel judged with every move i make. honestly, it's suffocating having to calculate every step i take when i'm around that person. over the years, there have been moments when my friend's really cut me deep, but i've never said anything. because to everyone, she's perfect and can do no wrong. i'm afraid too, that perhaps i've put her in the wrong light. perhaps, i've misinterpreted her actions. what it is to me might not have been to her. but why is it then i still feel so cheated and angry for having to endure this sense of betrayal? our friendship's gone superficial. our friendship's plastic. could it then still be considered friendship?

i feel like i've been left trailing behind, eating her dust.

it pains me that our friendship has deteoriated to such a degree. it couldn't have been more one sided, this friendship. i've given my all only to meet with empty words and shallow niceties. it pains me because i've done my best. it pains me because no one knows how i feel. it pains me because she didn't stand up for me when i needed her to do so the most. it pains me because the people who matter to me compare me to her. it pains me because i'm nice to her because i don't want what's left of this friendship to crumble. it pains me because we share the same circle of friends.

most of all, it pains me because i'm silent.

why is it that i'm so affected by this one situation? i care too much about this friendship to forsake it completely. because my friend means much to me, though i may not be so to her. i'm afraid confrontation will only serve to shatter what's left, leaving a smear on a seemingly good friendship. but perhaps this smear only adds on to older stains.

but through this, i must say i have learnt something. i've learnt from her to be a better person in many ways, to be more wary of things. and a lesson that i keep learning over and over and over again (i suppose that's due to me not learning the lesson well enough the first time. but it's a profound thing to grasp sometimes) is not letting the past get me down. i cannot be a chained prisoner to negative thoughts. i cannot fall victim to the lies and deceit of the devil.

my mind's been weak. my heart's been vulnerable.

an onslaught.
an onslaught.

but i am on a mission.

i cannot let people make me feel any less of myself unless i give them permission to.

haha it's funny to be laughing in the middle of such a serious blogpost. but i'm laughing because it's amazing. God heard me today and the night before. the purpose driven devotionals was about the betrayal of friendships today... reminding me that Jesus knows how i feel because He went through the same thing..

one point that struck me the most:

Re-focus your life. Don’t let anyone, particularly someone who has betrayed your trust, control you through a grip on your emotions. No doubt you’re feeling angry and hurt, but rather than trying to resist those thoughts, redirect them.For instance, try to see the situation from God’s perspective, and remember his ability to take things that are hurtful or mean-spirited in our lives and turn them into good.

i am on a mission to be better - to rise above what i feel.

not an emotion directed attitude

but a level-headed and truth (because i know) directed trust in Him that everything will be okay.
and i'm an overcomer in Him
just as i have overcomed other hurdles
i can overcome this
i am loved
no less
by the King of Kings

i have the joy (:

chipper

met up with dear wei @ holland on thurs (:

it was just so nice and shiok to hang out and catch-up again

haha all the thou-shall-not-sayest-it-on-thy-blog stuff. heh.

gene and pearls, you guys were missed!

for makcik

sitting in the school library today, i noticed this makcik meticulously cleaning and dusting the books on the shelves.

it was a most ordinary sight.

but, she was at it for almost an hour, on the same one row.

she was old.. and she squatted throughout.

something tugged at my heartstrings when i saw her take so much pride in her work - one that's without a doubt physically demanding for her age, yet perhaps despised at one time or another by us ...

for the people who work silently behind the scenes,

without complaints.

for the people who go unappreciated.

thank you makcik.

*ps: i wanted to take a better photo but i didnt want to appear crazy - randomly taking the pictures of people in the library so i didn't take a second shot. haha