- sigh -
why, oh why.
i was just talking to shern and telling her that it's so difficult to just drop it all and run to God, into His arms. and she said it's just like running on a threadmill; you can't get off it unless someone pulls the plug. so true. and it's so strange why i think this way even after knowing that He holds the future in His hands and would want the best for me in every circumstance. yet, I still choose not to run to Him, but to chug on scuttling around, checking to-do lists, reading furiously. it seems as though my brain never rests. i go to bed with a million thoughts and i wake up feeling the same. sometimes feeling even more exhausted.
i felt afraid today. in fact, i've been feeling this way for the past coupla days because of school. i'm lagging behind. and there's ministry that i know i haven't put all my heart and effort into it. and now pressing decisions to make. all these, in spite of knowing that God is in control:
O you of little faith
see the sparrows in the sky
unencumbered by the cares of the world
I feed even them
clothe the lilies of the field
how much more to Me are you worth than these?
I gave My Son for you
- It's Alright/ Melissa Otto.
adapted from Matthew 6: 25-34
like what eeleen said on her blog, i feel like throwing a kiddy tantrum with God, demanding that He'd do something good now and fill me up to the uttermost.
i really need to drop it all. and run to Him.
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