maluation

i honestly don't know what to make of this situation.

let's go through the checklist:
embarassed, check.
feeling kinda dumb, check.
don't know what to do, check.
don't know how to face him in future, check.

so, i went for tutorial today.
i was 5 mins early for class, but went into the room anyways.
it was just jeremy(tutor) and i.
it was awkward.
you know how small talks take place right?
talking to fill up the deafening silence.
coupled with the fact that he's so smart.. and i'm not really..
so the conversation wasn't really flowing except for our discussion about monty python and their loose storyplots, russell peter's standup comedy and goodness, gracious me (british-indian comedy).
heng, my friend came soon after.
my "knightess" in shining armour. haha

after tutorial, we were all walking towards the bustop.
we were talking about how the population of our tut class was slowly dwindling.
i dont know why but i just had to exclaim really loudly:
"yeah! it was so awkward to be alone with Jeremy just now!!!"
everyone laughed.

as we were turning down the stairs, i looked back coz i thought i saw jeremy. Lo and behold. he was walking right behind us.

OH.MY.GOODNESS.GRACIOUS

i think he heard everything.

but he was on his phone.

but still, i think he heard everything.

ahhhhhh!!!! *digs a hole and buries self*

save me.

come to think of it, it is quite funny. i'm sure Jeremy understands, but still it isn't smth nice to say outloud. it's no biggie, eveyrone says. but the thought that jeremy overheard haunts me. i feel bad, though there really isn't a need to. i just do. it's okay to feel awkward about someone/something. but, it's not okay to say it face-to-face. well it technically wasn't said face-to-face since my back was to his face. but STILL. ah. i need to get over it. i even contemplated writing an apology note because i feel so bad. but ange, ames & ys told me to be cool abt it. even kev didnt see the need to. oh well..

but i'm thankful that this is the last tut for the sem. if i were to get j. as my tutor in future for other modules, i will really be at a loss to know to how to behave normally. haha. might just start dancing in class to distract myself. haha

yeah lor kevin, macham blooper. too bad there wasn't a camera... haha. i need to learn to laugh about it.

it's strange how blogging about embarassing situations helps one to feel better. it's therapeutic in some ways, i guess. prolly somewhat absurd. it's really ironic; how this whole thing works huh? you feel embarassed but still blog about it and even more people know about it. at the same time, with more people in the know, you feel less embarassed! and i'm pretty sure this whole flipped phenomenon isnt just restricted to me.

oh well.

on a happier and less-malu note, i saw gra and drick! first time to ever see them in school (: was really quite happy to see them albeit for a really short while. gra and drick! WAFFLES SOON!




and till i get over myself, adieu.